Here at The International Journal of Assorted Miscellany, we are faced with the question of whether we should communicate by way of the page or by way of the post. Of course, being the new-age, hippie, crowd-sourcing bullshit artist that you are, you might say “why don’t you just use cellphones like everyone else?” Yes, in this way you mock and deceive us. We, you shall find, do not phone by the way of cells–nor by the tin cans that you, so sarcastically, are about to suggest. It will be either by pages or posts; that is the decision we are here to make today.
Pages Versus Posts: Pros Versus Cons? Vice-Versa? Via Duct? Ape??!!!
Pages offer a kind of personal connection that one only gets with fellow human beings. On the other hand, if one is employing the page in this capacity, one must consider how personal that connection really is–as one would of prostitution. Although, if the page goes the extra way that a prostitute would, it might be worth the cost of employment. It is always nice to get a little something extra, even if it is only ass.
Posts, on the other hand, being comparatively lifeless (if, perhaps, metallic) do not suffer from the same afflictions that befall pages. They persist without cost, maintenance, or need for discipline, night and day. They may become gluey after a bit, but they can be replaced at relatively little expense and without the complications of training the replacement. They may also be made to complement our interior decor, increase the speed with which we descend from above, and possibly improve the structural integrity of our building.
Perhaps we shall just have to use both pages and posts. Hopefully, this is the last compromise we shall have to make. Compromise sickens the soul. We shall not join the ranks of the eternally-ailing.
